Even the global mocking of the ridiculous Angelina Jolie failed to raise a glimmer of a smile with me. It was sad that a nearly-middle-aged woman would think she had to wear a dress slit to the groin and poke out a leg that looked more like a twiglet left too long on a windowsill in order to attract attention. Even sadder is the fact that she was right. I doubt she’d have had a tenth of the coverage otherwise.

     But my particular bug-bear was the mind-numbing responses to questions celebrities gave reporters on the red carpet at the after-parties. “Gee, it was a great film/she’s a great actor/he’s a great guy/I’m so proud to have been part of such a great movie…” Dull, dull, DULL! I know they’ve had media training but, as time has gone on, so have we, the audience. We know they are told only to say nice things, to praise everyone to the skies and to promote the movie or themselves. I think someone needs to evolve media training to the next level – where celebrities sound genuine and sincere but drop something into the conversation to incite some interest or provoke a reaction.

     Talking of which, the delectable Mr Colin Firth sauntered along the Vanity Fair carpet and stopped by a Sky News reporter who asked him an instantly forgettable question. He duly replied and before the reporter could sally forth with another his rather striking, and very pushy, wife chimed in with, “I’m so pleased that everyone has taken part in Livia’s project!” Looking suitably abashed, Colin (if I may call him that) had to explain to the Sky News audience that his wife had a project which aimed to increase the number of “eco-gowns” on the red carpet.

     Well, blow me down if the arctic ice-caps aren’t breathing a sigh of relief at that one.

     Hardly the sort of caper to be engaged in by Miss Elizabeth Bennett, Colin Firth’s main squeeze as Mr Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. Although thinking about it, she was known for being outspoken and bolshy. Maybe it is a case of life imitating art.

     Now where’s that scene in the pond?