Ber-limey! Is that the time?! I’m late.

     Waaah! Waaah! Waaah!

     Hello, Mum. Whoa, you don’t look good. And a bit grumpy, if I may say. Here, let me give you a cuddle and see if I can’t raise a smile. There you go.

     Right, enough of that, put me down. No, not on the changing table. I don’t want to lay on my back, front’s better. I said, front, not back. Front. Not back. Front!

     Oh, you do give up easy, parenting person. Actually, I can’t grab my bits and bobs this way. Ugh, what’s that on my heel? Get it off!

     New nappy, feels nice; okay, I’ll give you that one. Dressing gown, snuggly; fair enough, I submit. Slippers? What are you trying to do, kill me? No! No! No!

     Okay, this is better. We’re out of the bedroom, riding in style in mummy’s arms. Ooooh, that’s my sister’s room. Hey! Lidda, it’s me, I’m up!

     What do you mean, ssssh? Now you mention it, the house is quiet. Where is everyone? Into the kitchen, come on, mum. Milk, Beebies, breakfast. Snap to it.

     Where’s Beebies? Not started yet? What kind of lazy lie-in are they having? Oh no, not news. 

     Right, where shall I sit? High chair or breakfast stool. Today I choose…high chair. Don’t look so pleased, it’s not your victory. What’s for breakfast? Don’t say soya milk, rice crispies, banana and toast a-gaaain. Shake it up a little, why don’t you?

     Aaaah! Aaaah! Aaaah! Look where I’m pointing. Here, here! Well, it might be just a bit of spilt milk to you but to me it’s very important you get rid of it right now.

     Banana, okay, I’ll eat some but the rest goes over the side. Toast, nah, not today, thanks. Over it goes. Hello, it’s back. Two second rule? I didn’t agree to that. Can I have a Ber? You know, a Ber? Don’t pretend you don’t know what I want – those round crispy things, nice and sweet and sometimes covered in chocolate.

     Yikes, she’s up. What’s with the hair, sister? You look like the lion from Tinga Tinga. And you look grumpy too. What is it with everyone today?

     Let me out, let me out, let me out. I’ll cheer her up. She needs one of my cuddles too.

     Yay, I’m free. That was a quick hug and now I’m down on the ground. Shall I go and play? Nah, I’ll swing Lidda round and round on her stool with this handy handle.

     What’s she crying for? She can eat her breakfast when I spin her round that way. No, I don’t want to let gooooooo! Let me play. Waaaah!

     Oh, breadsticks. Now I’m on my own and it’s all not faaaaaaaaair!

     I’m tired. I want to go back to bed.