Handbags at dawn

Who am I kidding I can get all of us up, fed, dressed, and out at dawn but it did happen in the morning (about ninish) as I walked to nursery with the baby in the top chair of the double-buggy and the four-year-old underneath.

     I have been musing lately on the sheer bulk of the seagulls in our back garden and have stopped throwing scraps out for the (other) birds as they have no chance against these dodo-sized creatures.  I didn’t expect to find myself a target for these winged bullies but this morning, walking down a residential street just up from my own, I was dive-bombed by two of them in turn. Now I understand all about protecting their young but their nest was on the roof of a quite tall house and, nimble as I am (not), I am not about to develop the ability to fly or the inclination to steal their eggs.

     Undeterred, they squawked and swooped in repeated fly-pasts inches from my head.  At first, I ducked down behind the buggy before thinking this was not very maternal behaviour.  Then I gave a nervous titter – was this for real?  A fresh draught of air convinced me it was.

     So what did I do?  

     I swung my weighty handbag at them quite sure I would be able to bat one into a parked car.  What then?  I wasn’t sure.  Luckily for us all, I missed and managed to push the buggy further down the road.  Seeing the threat recede, they stopped diving and settled back on their roof.

     I’ve got to pick my daughter up later.  Anyone got a gun?

About Kerry Mayo

I have written three novels, I have been published in the Whitstable Women Writers anthology, Place, and the Writers of Whitstable anthology, A Different Kind of Kent, and had one non-fiction book, Whitstable Through Time published by Amberley. I have also had two short films produced and short stories and serials published in national magazines.
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